Why You Shouldn’t Leave the Cat in Charge of Your Marketing

This is Norton. He is one of my two furry feline gurus.


This week, Norton and his buddy Kramer (you’ll meet him later) have been teaching me different approaches to marketing. It started like this: they were being totally annoying (as only cats can be), because they were ABSOLUTELY STARVING!! But each was using a very different approach to get what they wanted. And I got to thinking that their actions were beginning to look like individual marketing approaches. Let’s take a closer look…

For purposes of this exploration, we’ll consider food (sustenance) as the equivalent to sales/income (sustenance). Cat’s actions and antics are marketing strategy & tactics. And in this situation, I am the Customer (I have the sustenance, and they want some). And, just for the record, we are dealing here with a cat food based economy (which if anyone is wondering, is motoring along just fine, thank you. Cat food futures look solid. The fundamentals are strong. No, really, they are).

Anyway. Norton tends to approach the world with wide-eyed wonder, and an absolute knowing that “sweetness sells.” His typical strategy unfolds something like this…

“Doo dee, doo dee, doo dee, doo … oop… I see the bottom of my bowl — yikes! (my bank is empty)” Deep breath. “OK, I’m sure everything is OK. I know that it isn’t always empty. Sometimes there is something in there. Maybe I’ll just keep an eye on it and see what happens…”

• Proceed to staring at the empty bowl (aka “bank account”) for several long minutes.
• If no change to bank account, go find Customer.
• Make direct eye contact with Customer.
• Stare wonderingly, bemused, “Hey, Customer, you haven’t forgotten me, have you? I’m the really sweet one you like so much.
• If no immediate change is noticed, continue to stay close, very close to the Customer. Direct contact is crucial. In fact sitting directly on top of the Customer’s
  heart is the most preferred position. Should the geometry of the situation make that impossible, proceed to closest horizontal surface that still allows contact with the Customer.
• Get into the Customer’s head — or at least nudge them in the face and make a lot of (purring chirpy) noise that the Customer seems to (sometimes) find endearing.
• And if still no response, a little bite always helps (as they say, any PR is good PR).
• Most important — NEVER let the Customer out of your sight! Stay in contact at all times, at least while actively seeking sales.
• Be alert to any little cue that suggests the customer is moving toward completing a sale, then rush ahead of Customer to the “bank account” and stare at it until the sale appears.
• Once sustenance appears in bank, devote all attention to sustenance, while ignoring Customer.
• Once satisfied, if you feel like it, show appreciation with some additional purring chirpy sounds, if the Customer is still hanging around.
• Then…(yawn!) take a well deserved rest, (gentle kitty snoring sounds ….) until next time bank account is empty.

See any parallels with your marketing approach? I can see some parallels (…squirm, fidget…) with mine.